Figuring out who to use as a referee can feel really confusing – especially when you’re a school leaver without a long job history. You might think “I’ve never had a boss, who can I ask?” or worry that listing someone is too much trouble for them. Don’t stress – everyone starts somewhere. This article will explain in plain language who can act as a referee for your first job, how to ask them properly, and what employers actually want to hear. We’ll give you example scripts and a step-by-step checklist so you feel confident. Plus, we’ll show how Next Gen Youth Employment can help guide you through this process.

First, remember: a referee (or reference) is just someone who can vouch for you. They might be asked by an employer to confirm what you’ve told them or share a bit about how you’re as a worker. It’s okay if you haven’t had paid work before – you can use other people who know you in a responsible capacity. Let’s break it down.

Who Can Be a Referee?

You might have heard people say “use a former boss” – but if you’ve never had a boss, what then? The key is: choose someone who knows you and your abilities in a professional or semi-professional setting. For a school leaver, good referees include:

• Teachers or Lecturers: A school teacher, trainer or tutor you’ve had for at least 6 months. For example, your Year 12 chemistry teacher or TAFE instructor can speak about your reliability in class and how hard you worked on assignments.

• Coaches or Extracurricular Leaders: Maybe you played sports or participated in clubs (like Scouts or a debate team). Coaches, team captains or club mentors know about your teamwork, attitude and commitment.

• Work Experience or Volunteer Supervisors: If you did any volunteer work or school work experience, the people who supervised you there are ideal. For instance, the cafe manager where you did a week’s placement or the volunteer coordinator at a charity event.

• Youth Support Workers or Mentors: This could be someone from a youth program, community organisation or disability support service where you’ve been involved. They have seen you in action.

• Family Business Leaders: If you helped in a family business (like doing a paper run or helping at a shop), an older relative in charge might count, but it’s usually better to have someone outside your immediate family.

• Other Adults You Know Professionally: This can include supervisors of any clubs or paid gigs, senior students or even an employer of a part-time job. The main thing is they have known you at least 6 months and can speak about how you perform tasks and interact with others.

What you should avoid is listing just anyone (like a friend’s parent who doesn’t know you) or purely personal connections (like neighbours who don’t know your work skills). The person should have seen you act responsibly – showing up on time, working on tasks, interacting with others – so they can honestly comment on it.

What Do Referees Talk About?

When an employer calls a referee, they typically ask about workplace-style qualities. Referees don’t need to present you as perfect – in fact, honesty is key. They might talk about your:

• Reliability and punctuality: Do you show up when you said you would? Can your referee trust you to do a job without constant reminding? Being on time and dependable is a big plus for any workplace.

• Attitude and willingness to learn: Were you positive and friendly? Were you open to feedback? Did you ask questions and try new things? Employers love a positive attitude and someone who is keen to improve.

• Communication and teamwork: How well did you work with others? Did you communicate clearly when needed, listen, and get along with peers? Even in a quiet role, being respectful and polite is noticed.

• Effort and performance: How hard did you try on tasks? If you had any challenges, did you ask for help? Referees might give examples like “She always did her assigned tasks and asked good questions when unsure” or “He finished projects on time and was eager to help teammates.”

• Trustworthiness and character: Were you honest, responsible, and mature? Someone might remark on your honesty (e.g., “I could trust him with the cash register”) or reliability.

Referees don’t need to invent superlatives. Saying “he showed up 100% and was the best student ever” isn’t necessary or realistic. Instead, a genuine reference might be: “She was on time every day, got along well with customers, and I never had to remind her to do her closing checklist”. That tells the employer what they need.

Referees may also gently note areas of growth, but in a positive way (for example, “He’s still learning but was very coachable”). If something was a struggle, a referee might frame it as, “When I gave her feedback, she took it and improved.” This shows you’re teachable, not a lost cause. Employers understand that young people won’t know everything yet – they want to see your attitude and basic work habits.

Choosing and Managing Your Referees

When you’re thinking about referees for your first job, it’s easy to feel stuck or even a bit stressed, especially if you’re a school leaver with disability who hasn’t had much (or any) paid work yet. The good news is that employers aren’t expecting you to have a long list of past bosses. They simply want someone who can speak honestly about how you show up, how you learn, and how you handle responsibility.

This is where many young people underestimate how many strong options they already have around them. A referee doesn’t have to be someone from a formal job. It can be a teacher who has seen your effort in class, a support worker who understands how you manage routines and challenges, a work experience supervisor who watched you try new tasks, a sports coach who has seen your teamwork and commitment, or even a volunteer coordinator who can speak about your reliability and attitude.

When you start to look at it this way, you realise that your experiences—both in and out of school—already tell a story about who you are as a worker. That’s exactly what employers want to understand, especially for entry-level roles.

At Next Gen Youth Employment, this is something Youth Coaches work through step by step with participants in SLES. They help you identify who actually knows your strengths in a practical, real-world way and turn that into a clear, confident referee list, rather than something you leave to the last minute.

Choosing the right referee isn’t about picking the most impressive title. It’s about choosing someone who knows you well enough to give real examples. Things like “they always arrived prepared”, “they asked for help when unsure”, or “they stayed calm and kept trying when something was difficult” matter far more to employers than big achievements.

Once you’ve thought about who to ask, the next step is knowing how to ask someone to be a referee. This is another point where people often hesitate, worrying they’re being a burden or putting someone on the spot. In reality, most people are happy to help—especially if they’ve seen you put in effort.

It’s really about asking in a clear and respectful way. For example, you might say:

“Hi, I’m applying for some jobs at the moment and I was wondering if you’d feel comfortable being a referee for me. You’ve seen how I work and I think you could speak about my strengths.”

Or keep it simple:
“Would you be okay to be a referee for me for job applications?”

If you want to make it even easier for them, you can add:
“I can send you a quick summary of what I’ve been doing and the kind of jobs I’m applying for.”

At Next Gen Youth Employment, this is something that gets practised in SLES, so it doesn’t feel awkward or overwhelming. Asking is a skill, just like anything else, and it gets easier with practice.

After someone says yes, the process becomes much simpler, but there are still a few small steps that make a big difference. Confirm their preferred contact details, check whether they prefer phone or email, and let them know when you’ve applied for a job so they’re not caught off guard.

A quick message like:
“Just letting you know I’ve applied for a retail role at [company], they might contact you soon”
helps your referee feel prepared and confident to support you.

If you want to go one step further, you can send them a short summary of the role and your strengths. This doesn’t mean telling them what to say—it just gives them helpful reminders so they can speak clearly about you.

One of the biggest worries young people have is:
“What if my referee says the wrong thing?”
or
“What if they don’t say I’m perfect?”

Here’s the important part—employers are not looking for perfect. They’re looking for real.

A good referee doesn’t need to say you were amazing at everything. They just need to show that you’re reliable, willing to learn, respectful, and able to improve. Comments like “they sometimes needed instructions repeated but always asked when unsure” or “they were quiet at first but grew more confident over time” are actually positive because they show growth and honesty.

This is something Next Gen Youth Employment often reinforces with participants and families. It takes the pressure off trying to present yourself as flawless and instead focuses on being genuine and ready to learn.

It’s also helpful to understand what referees are usually asked, so it doesn’t feel like a mystery. Most employers ask simple, practical questions like:
“How do they handle instructions?”
“Are they reliable?”
“How do they work with others?”
“Would you recommend them?”

When you think about it, these are all things your teachers, coaches, or support people already know about you.

Another important tip is to keep your referee details up to date. People change jobs, phone numbers, or availability, so it’s a good habit to check in regularly.

A simple message like:
“Hi, just checking you’re still happy to be my referee and your details are the same”
keeps everything current and avoids problems later.

For young people with disability, referees can also help highlight strengths that might not fully show in a resume—things like persistence, problem-solving, adaptability, or managing challenges with the right support.

At Next Gen Youth Employment, Youth Coaches help you think about how your referee choices reflect the kind of worker you are and the environment you work best in. This turns your referee list into something purposeful, not just a requirement.

Overall, referees and references aren’t something to fear or overthink. They’re simply people who can vouch for your effort, your attitude, and your potential.

When you approach the process step by step—choosing the right person, asking clearly, keeping them informed, and understanding what employers are really looking for—it becomes much more manageable.

And with the support of Next Gen Youth Employment through SLES, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Building confidence in these small but important steps is what helps turn applications into real job opportunities.

How to Ask Politely: Steps and Script

1. Pick the right person. Refer back to the list above. Choose someone who respects you and whose opinion carries some weight (like a respected teacher or supervisor). It’s best if they know you and your work habits.

2. Ask for permission first. Don’t just write someone’s name on your resume. Send them an email or talk in person, saying you’d like to ask for their help as a referee. For example:

“Hi Ms Smith, I hope you’re well. I’m applying for a part-time retail job and I was wondering if you would feel comfortable being a referee for me. They may ask about how I worked in your class or any projects I did. I really enjoyed learning from you, and I thought you might provide a reference about my reliability and willingness to learn. Of course, no worries if you’re too busy. Thank you for considering!”

This script (adapt to your situation) shows respect. It explains why you picked them (they observed your work or attitude) and asks in a polite way.

3. Explain what’s involved. Let them know they might get a phone call or email from your potential employer. Provide details: “They’ll probably ask about how I am in groups, if I showed up on time, and how I handled tasks. You could mention that I helped on projects and was respectful.”

4. Offer details to help them. It’s helpful to give your referee a quick summary of the job and what you did for them. For example, say:

• “Here’s the job ad and my resume, so you see what I’m applying for.”
• “We worked on [project/event], and I really appreciated your feedback on how I [did X or learned Y].”
• “Maybe mention that I have reliability and good communication, since those are key for this role.”

The SEEK career guide suggests preparing a list of your strengths and achievements for your referee, to remind them what to highlight. This step makes it easier for them to recall what to say.

5. Thank them and follow up. After they agree, say thanks again. During your job search, it’s polite to check in: “I applied last week, and they said they might call sometime. Thank you again for helping!” After you land the job (or if it didn’t go well), you might send a quick note: “Thanks so much for acting as my referee. Your support means a lot.” This courtesy goes a long way.

If they say “I’m sorry, I don’t feel I can do that”, accept it graciously (see SEEK advice). The person may have legitimate reasons (privacy, not feeling ready). Thank them for considering it and move on to another referee. Always have a Plan B (a second choice referee) lined up as backup.

What Information to Provide Your Referees

Make the process easy for them:

• Your resume or a summary: Give them a copy of your resume or at least a quick list of what you did (jobs, volunteer roles, projects). This refresher helps them match facts.

• The job description: If possible, show the ad or job details so they know what skills you’re aiming to highlight (e.g., teamwork, punctuality).

• Your achievements: Remind them of concrete examples: “Remember I organised the school fundraiser? I was commended for teamwork and organisation.”

• Basic context: When did you work/volunteer with them, in what role, and for how long? The Victorian government guide says a referee should have known you at least 6 months, so help them remember the timeframe.

• Your contact info: Make sure your referee has an updated email or phone where they can be reached. Let them know exactly what details (name, position, company) they should share as your reference.

• Notice before they’re contacted: Before listing them, tell them “I will be giving your name and contact to [Company Name] for a reference check next week.” That way a call from a random number won’t be a surprise.

This preparation shows the referee you respect their time and helps them give a strong, detailed reference.

Common Reference Scenarios

• No Referees at All: If you truly have no one in mind, that’s okay. You could list “References available on request” on your resume. Then, when asked, you can say you’re getting them lined up. Or focus on quickly building references by volunteering or doing short projects (Next Gen can help arrange these).

• Workplace vs Non-Workplace: Referees don’t have to be from paid jobs. A coach from your weekend sports team or a volunteer coordinator is just as valid, as they’ve seen qualities like teamwork and reliability.

• Disability Support Staff: If you have support workers or job coaches who know your work habits, they can be referees too – especially since they’ve observed you in work-like settings.

• School Projects: A teacher from a group project or school leadership role can talk about your organisational and communication skills.

• Family Friends in Business: This one is tricky: better to use them only if they’ve formally supervised you (e.g., your dad’s store where you helped). If they haven’t seen your work, they’re not a good reference.

Example Scripts

To make it concrete, here are mini-scripts for asking:

In Person or Over the Phone:
“Hi [Name], I hope you’re well! I’m applying for [role] at [Company]. Would you be comfortable if I listed you as a referee? They might call or email to ask about how I work. I really appreciated your support when we [where/how we knew each other], and I think you know well how I handle [responsibility/skill]. If it’s okay, I’ll send you the job ad and my resume to help. I totally understand if you’re busy and can’t — just let me know. Thank you!”

Via Email or Text:
Subject: Reference request from [Your Name]
“Hello [Mr/Ms Name], I hope all is going well with you. I’m writing because I’m currently applying for [job or traineeship] at [Company], and I wondered if you would mind being a referee for me. We worked together at [school/event/volunteer place], and I really value your feedback. The employer may ask about my attendance, attitude or teamwork, and I thought you might have some insights. I’ve attached my resume and the job listing for context. Please let me know if you’re okay with this, and I can provide any more info. I completely understand if you’re unable. Thank you so much for your time and support!”

These examples show courtesy: explaining who you are, what you need, and giving them an out if they’re not able. Always say “thank you” – referees are doing you a favor!

Keeping Referees Updated

Once you have referees lined up, make sure to keep their details current on your resume or application. Write down their full name, position, organisation and contact details (work email and phone if possible). For example:

• Ms. Jane Smith, Head of Science Department, Northside High School, jane.smith@northsidehs.edu.au, (03) 9123 4567.
• Mr. John Doe, Volunteer Coordinator at City Charity, john@citycharity.org.au, (0400) 123 456.

Notice how this includes their job title or role – it signals why they’re a credible referee (as SEEK suggests, referee position adds weight).

Whenever you give someone’s contact, first double-check with the person and verify their details. It’s common courtesy. Also, if a referee’s contact changes, or if time passes and you no longer work together, send them a quick update or reminder each time you list them. This prevents awkwardness if an employer calls and the person is unreachable.

What to Do When They Call (and After)

Finally, once your referee agrees and you have it on your resume or application, an employer may contact them. You can coach your referees on what might come up, without scripting their answers. Let them know: “They’ll probably ask about how I work in a team, my attitude and reliability. You could just say whatever you saw. For example, if they ask, you might mention how I helped with [task] and always arrived on time.” This helps set expectations.

After a reference check happens, thank your referee again. If you get the job, let them know and express appreciation. Building goodwill is great for future needs.

Next Gen’s Support

At Next Gen Youth Employment, we know this process can be daunting. Our youth coaches help you identify who to ask, practise how to ask them, and even provide role-play for phone or email conversations. We can give you the wording suggestions above and help tailor them to your style. We can also link you with work experiences and volunteers roles – which not only give you skills, but also give you potential referees (like volunteering supervisors).

If you’re unsure about references or want more help with your resume, contact us. We can answer your questions and walk you through each step. Call Next Gen Youth Employment on 0399 683 021 or email info@nextgenye.com.au. With our guidance, finding and asking referees will be one less thing to worry about as you start your career.